By Cuthbert Malindi- NLP certified Life and Business Coach.
I thought I should weigh in on the subject that has been and is being widely spoken about in the Media , without talking about the specific incident. I thought I should air my views from a professional standpoint, for what it is worth.
As a Mindset trainer ,let me start by making this widely held view and understanding in mind power.
” What you Manifest in the external world is a reflection of what is going on inside you”.
In discussing any topic , I always like to relate it to personal experiences.
Up until 15 years ago, I struggled to speak to any audience , even in conversations with just one other person . I would usually tremble and shiver and it was evident that I was nervous and shuffling paper. Today , I speak to large audiences even internationally, having become an Internarional speaker and trainer as key note speaker at several events both in Zambia and on the continent as well as overseas . But 18 years ago I couldn’t have seen myself do that.
It all started many many years ago ,when, as a young Investment professional of a VC Fund,I would be required to make presentations to the Investment committee and the Board , seeking approval. It was intimidating. My first deal ( way back as a fresher) was a mineral water project. I was so nervous and so bad – trembling, quivering- that one of my best friends and work colleagues stood up and came to me while I was talking and asked me if she should stop the meeting but I said No and carried on. So I carried on but it was bad and project was rejected not because of the project case but because of me . One of the members even ridiculed me saying how could I be so naive as to think that anybody could pay for bottled water in Africa when it was ” free” from the tap. But as we know,many many years later ,bottled mineral water has become standard and people pay for it.
For those who have been in leadership positions where you have had to speak ,you know very well that not every day is the same . Many leaders in both the Public and Private sector have bungled their speeches and presentations . One of the other speeches I bungled was when I was addressing an audience , reading from a speech and momentarily lost a word or so and referred to one of the ladies as a ” Well seasoned woman” when what I meant was ” a seasoned professional and leader”. It was embarrassing and most of the audience had their heads bowled down. But I guess I survived.
I also remember Barack Obama being so incoherent and forgetful and all over the place in the second of the three Presidential debates against late Senator McCain that his handlers had to read him the riot act afterwards. I know that he was then seriously warned and coached before the 3rd debate and wow! It was vintage Obama. He was back ! and won the elections despite an abysmal 2nd debate.
WHAT IS MY POINT?
Fast forward now:
I have come to learn that sometimes, as society, we put superwoman or man status on our leaders or Managers when they are just as human as the rest of us and so go through bad and good days- both in their private and work life. Anybody can bungle a moment or speech and their mind can just go blank despite several hours of preparation .
The key point is what I started with
” WHAT YOU SEE MANIFESTED ON THE OUTSIDE AT ANY PARTICULAR MOMENT IS VERY MUCH A REFLECTION OF WHAT IS GOING ON ON THE INSIDE OF THAT PERSON”
SOLUTION:
I would strongly urge any person in a position of authority or leadership to get a life coach or mentor- someone who doesn’t judge you . Someone you can even call before a speech or an important event and tell them how you are feeling .
I have had a personal coach since 2014 and sometimes have had to even park the car by the roadside and call them to tell them how scared I was but after 5 minutes,I would be back on top of my game!
Donald Trump has a Coach, late Utata Mandela had a personal coach , Bill Clinton had a Coach . Most Cabinet Ministers in the South African Govt as well as CEOs of Jhb listed companies have personal coaches. Many of my friends in leadership positions in SA have personal coaches. It is nothing to be ashamed of . Infact it is something to be proud of that you have someone who is not your relative or workmate on your side to tap into . But you don’t even have to be at that level to seek the services of a coach . You can even start while running your kantemba.
So ladies and Gents,let us not be too judgmental. Let us not be too harsh . These things happen to people we perceive as rock solid. Instead let us show love and kindness. The good news is that there is now available help for anyone to get mindset exercises in the same way you exercise your body ,so that you can deal with challenging situations.
Kealeboga!
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of Melo Media Zambia.
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