By Benjamin Samusiko
- Wanting someone else to define your values in a relationship while you remain a passive participant when it comes to making the final decision. There is no person in this world who knows your needs than yourself so If you can’t define your values, wants, needs and protect them then you don’t know who you are, you are an enabler with porous boundaries, low self esteem and image issues.
- Rationalizing a wrong just to hold to something not worth keeping anymore. Example : Having a child together or them rewarding you with materials things or financially doesn’t mean one doesn’t have a choice to end a toxic relationship.
- Fear of being alone, if I lose them I won’t find someone to love me again. You are codependent partner or struggling with speration anxiety disorder.
- Feeling so obligated to fulfill societal expectations or rituals even when facts support that one should infact end the relationship.
- Personalizing your partner’s flaws by taking responsibility for things you have no control over by even believing that them cheating is infact your fault.
- Trauma bonding, this is an emotional attachment that develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement.
Note that trauma wounds are the most complex invisible wounds to heal from and seeking therapy can be seen as expensive but worth every penny because regardless of everything one has gone through, they still deserve HEALING.
Get help and get better, go for Therapy.
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